The Talk
by StormDreamCloud
Summary: Fourteen year old Len has a simple question.  But the answer is not as simple!


"Gakupo-san~" Len whined. "Kaito-san won't play with me!"

"What do you want me to do about it?" Came an annoyed reply.

"Play with me?"

Gakupo was brushing his hair, which always took a long time. The blonde tried his best to make his sad puppy face. The purple haired singer sighed and handed Len a hairbrush.

"Help me brush my hair,"

"Okay!"

The two sat there grooming Gakupo's hair. Len began to sing IMITATION BLACK but Gakupo frowned and pointed out that Kaito wasn't there to sing his part. So he stopped and they sat in silence.

"Gakupo-san," Len said in his most innocent voice. "Where do babies come from?"

Gakupo froze. Len was 14 and still hadn't had the "talk". It had been agreed that Miku, Luka, Meiko and Gumi would take care of Rin. So it was Gakupo and Kaito's job to take care of Len. Gakupo knew that Rin already had the "talk".

"Gakupo-san?" Len asked.

The singer had been quiet for a long time.

"KAITO!" Gakupo suddenly yelled. "GET IN HERE!"

Kaito shuffled in, holding a tub of ice cream.

"What?" Kaito said with his mouth full of ice cream.

"Where do babies come from?" Len was getting impatient.

Kaito almost dropped his ice cream and choked.

"I'm going to ask Miku-san," Len ran for the door but Kaito caught him.

Gakupo shut the door quickly and Kaito cornered Len. They both peered at the blonde who blinked back at them curiously.

"Uh, when a man and a woman love each other very much, they-," Kaito started but Gakupo hit his friend on the arm with a hairbrush, interrupting him.

"That's not how you explain these things!" Gakupo scolded. "Now, Len, this is for boys only, okay?"

"Okay,"

"You know that girls sit while they pee, right?"

"No," Len's eyes widened. "You mean that girls don't have popsicle sticks?"

Gakupo looked at his fellow teacher, who shrugged.

"Uh, yeah popsicle sticks…" Gakupo shifted uncomfortably. "Girls, have…"

"Ice cream containers!" Kaito piped up.

"Ice cream containers?"

"Yeaaaahh," Gakupo sighed.

"I don't get it!" Len whined.

"Okay, let me try," Kaito stepped forward.

Len ran towards the door and successfully slipped out under Kaito's arm and into the hallway. Miku happened to be walking by and patted Len on his head.

"Miku-san, can I see your Ice cream container?" Len asked innocently.

"What?" Miku asked, confused.

"Do babies come from here?" Len placed a hand on the female singer's left breast.

Miku automatically hit Len on the head with a karate chop. Meiko appeared at the scene, wondering all the noise was.

"What's going on?" Meiko asked.

"Len touched Miku's meat bun," Kaito said despite himself and earned himself a hateful glare from Miku.

"So Len wants to know where babies come from," Miku looked at the men angrily, who were cowering under her evil gaze.

"Len didn't get the talk yet?" Meiko bent over and picked up Len, who was sprawled on the floor, unconscious.

"Not the right one," Miku huffed. "He wanted to see my 'ice cream container',"

"What?"

"Well, we were teaching him the parts first…" Gakupo trailed off, seeing the angry looks on the two females.

"Did you tell him that guys have popsicle sticks too?" Miku asked rhetorically.

"No…"

Miku's angry expression softened.

"He already knew it,"

The aqua haired diva put her hands on her hips and frowned. At that time, Len regained consciousness. He got up and saw the scared males and the angry females. He ran.

"Do you guys even know what sex is?" Meiko towered over the two male singers who were trembling and clinging to each other.

It turned out that Len had run away to his room, where Luka was vacuuming. Luka gently sat him down and explained everything to him.

"But sex should only be done between two lovers," Luka concluded.

Len was quiet for a moment.

"You should give that talk to Gakupo-san and Kaito-san," Len spoke up. "They think that girls have ice cream containers instead of a vagina,"

"Well, I've got to finish cleaning," Luka stood up. "I'll talk to them later, okay?"

Luka left and Rin came skipping in,

"Len-kun," Rin sat on her brother's bed. "Why is Kaito-san crying? I saw you going past his room earlier,"

Before Len could reply, a loud noise that sounded very much like a vacuum was heard along with scared voices that sounded much like Gakupo and Kaito.


End file.
